Headmaster's Weekly News letter -- Week 10

Imagine a pink elephant. Picture it clearly in your mind.

 

Now, try not to think about it. Whatever you do, don’t focus on the pink elephant I just asked you to imagine.

Hard to do, isn’t it? That was one of the exercises a group of the staff and I went through this week during our Mental Health First Aid course. One of the topics we covered was stress and anxiety, and clearly one of the hardest things for anyone to do is to stop thinking about something that is “top of mind”. It takes significant mental discipline to put aside things that stress us. Whether it is a parental divorce, a failing grade in a test, or scoring on one’s own net, these things are very hard to ignore. Understanding how life’s challenges can affect the mental, social, and emotional health of our students (and ourselves) is important for all of us.

 

It was beneficial for me and my staff to learn the differences between stress and anxiety and how these things present themselves in our lives. For me, personally, I hear the words stress and anxiety used daily, and almost interchangeably, but not until this week did I fully appreciate how different being stressed is from being anxious. Moving forward, this understanding should help us support our students better.

 

I know how effective support can be in helping someone feel better. I felt it this week and am most grateful for the kindness I received. You see, I hate making mistakes. When I do they are my personal pink elephant, no matter how hard I try not to I think about my mistake(s) and worry about them. Constantly. I can feel my skin flushing, my heart rate rising, and my innards going hollow and sinking.

 

My mistake came on Monday in front of the entire School and all our guests. In the hush and solemnity of Remembrance Day, I misread the Honour Roll.   My eyes, my brain, completely missed the right hand column of Alumni who paid the ultimate price in the First and Second World Wars. When I realized my error, I apologized and read the names I had missed, but I was deeply mortified. When I finished, I could feel that familiar inner worry building deep within me. I felt that I had let the Corps, the faculty, our guests, and the Fallen down.

 

Fortunately, I was immediately swept up in the warmth and reassurance of the KES family. The 254 Cadet Corps had performed admirably throughout the parade and two ceremonies (in Town and on campus), honouring the true spirit of Remembrance Day. As we laid our poppies en masse at the Cenotaph, hugs and happy faces greeted me. I tried to apologize to a group of parents and my concerns were instantly minimized. One lovely soul remarked that I had read the second column seamlessly. And you know what? Because of the warmth of our KES family, my pink elephant pretty much disappeared and I was “good to go” (as Major Hynes would say) for the rest of the day.

 

It is so easy to cast stones when someone makes a mistake. “Rubbing it in” is indeed such a cruel thing to do and yet it seems to be increasingly common. That our King’s-Edgehill School family embraces our community ideals of “gentleness, learning, dignity, and respect” sometimes seems counter-culture and rare. This week I realized just how fortunate we are.

 

It’s hard to comprehend the warmth of the KES community until there is a moment like that.