Headmasters Weekly Newsletter -- Week 25

Preparing students for university must include preparation for life. Living and acting independently is part of the university experience. Universities won’t communicate with parents. Their students are considered adult clients, and all privacy laws are in full effect. Parents don’t get report cards or permission slips or invoices. Whether a student lives with their parents or in residence is immaterial to the university.

 

For some recent high school graduates this is a shock. They need to advocate for themselves, and speak with professors and registrars, coaches and tutorial assistants, on their own. At KES we try and reduce this shock by gradually increasing our expectations of students to communicate to us directly and not through their parents. For example, in Grade 6 it is normal to receive an email from a parent that their child will be missing school for whatever reason. By Grade 11 we hope to receive this kind of communication from the student directly. The student should be communicating and collecting work from his or her various teachers.

 

Speaking for oneself can be difficult for teenagers, especially when they are used to their parents speaking for them. If there is an exam conflict, or too many tests in a day, or a personal issue, it is hard for a teenager to speak to a teacher and let their concerns be known. However, it is essential that our students learn how to do so, and to do so in a respectful and dignified manner.  Coaches and teachers (and headmasters), would much rather hear from students than from parents. When a student takes responsibility and ownership for their life, it confirms that we are preparing them well.

 

This week River Qi (Class of 2021) was in a quandary: he had a table tennis practice and a rugby practice scheduled for the same time. For various reasons, River felt he should attend table tennis instead of rugby practice. His rugby coach is Mr. Verryn-Stuart, who can be an intimidating presence for some students.  River prepared his arguments in advance and in a perfectly gentle and articulate manner explained to Mr. Verryn-Stuart why he should go to table tennis practice and skip rugby. The conversation went a bit like this:

 

“Mr. Stuart I would like to miss rugby practice today so that I can attend table tennis.”

 

“Why is that River?”

 

“You see, it is a bit like this.  If the rugby team was a house, I would be a brick.  If the table tennis team was a house, I would be the foundation. I am needed there today.”

 

Teachers and coaches live for moments like these. River went to table tennis with his rugby coach’s blessing and respect.